Review: Restricted Area

Posted by | August 12, 2009

restricted-area Welcome to the post-apocalyptic wasteland of Restricted Area by Whiptail Interactive and Master Creating. The game crawls out of the reduced price game bin having replaced a multitude of its own organs with those grown in vats cloned from Diablo—no, not Diablo II, straight original Diablo. The first thing that we thought when we were thrust into the windblown, sun caked desert outside of the central city is that we may once again be visiting the Valley of the Kings soon.

The first massive caveat against buying this game is that it’s loaded down with Starforce DRM—the fact that it’s loaded down with invasive DRM at all turns us off; but this particular DRM company has seen a very bad run (Reboots your computer without


Review: Bookworm Adventures Deluxe

Posted by | August 6, 2009

bookworm-adventures-deluxe Behold the lowly bookworm—green, bespectacled, and possessing of terrible wit. This little fellow is named Lex, and he’s from a previous game, Bookworm. From our experience with that game, Bookworm Adventures does differ somewhat. For example, the puzzle interface is basically a scrambled set of lettered tiles in a 4×4 field; in Bookworm the selected letters had to be touching in order to spell words—in Bookworm Adventures they can be grabbed from anywhere.

The game presents itself with a somewhat flimsy but adorable narrative about a character trapped in a book about Greek mythology. Her name is Cassandra, a lovely, alabaster skinned Helena of Troy with green eyes and shimmering blonde hair who cries out to Lex for aid. As a bookworm, of course,


Review: FATE Undiscovered Realms

Posted by | July 17, 2009

FATE Undiscovered Realms is the sequel to FATE by WildTangent. Both of which have all the appearance of Diablo clones with numerous UI and game play design elements in common with the famous Blizzard game. A great deal of the story is front loaded in a long, tedious narrative voiced by an almost Shakespearian actor, but when it comes down to it, playing this game is less about the story and more about plunging through wave after wave of interesting monsters and then tripping over their beautifully rendered corpses.

The narrative and story of this game could have been done a lot better than it was. Especially being that the entire story at the beginning was narrated. Instead it comes across as a 1-2-3 style quest with nearly no explanation of why the 1-2-3 need be done. We found ourselves …


Fallout — Deathclaws Through the Ages

Posted by | November 7, 2008

The Fallout series has given us many interesting characters and monsters, but few are spoken of in the same tones and hushed whispers as one critter that earns its name. The deathclaw. These monsters are leathery, reptilian horrors who run in packs and spend their time growling, lurking, and pulling Vault Dwellers’ spleens out through their noses. Deathclaws are tough little kitties.

Fallout 3 Deathclaw

With the release of Fallout 3, it has come time to take a look at the deathclaw and all the wonderful moments we’ve shared with it through the years.

In Fallout, you might hear mention of deathclaws from time to time, but your first real encounter with the monster will come around the LA Boneyard. You’ll have to deal with a few of these cheerful puppies for a quest, and then, you can take another quest to


Fable II — Molyneux Strikes Back

Posted by | November 5, 2008

Recently released by Microsoft and Lionhead, Fable 2 is, of course, the sequel to the poorly realized trainwreck that was Fable. In both games, you take on the role of a young adventurer out to make his way in the world. However, the premise here is less about the journey and more the destination as your choices in the game affect what sort of person your fresh-faced and innocent young psychopath becomes.

Fable 2 takes this trick further by giving you more choices, such as the option to be male or female, and then nails you to the game by the base instincts with a lovable pooch who just happens to be part of the user interface. Not only are you given the task of managing morality in NotBritain, but no matter what you do, there will always be your canine companion, smiling up at you …


Fallout 3 — Holy Jumping Deathclaws, it’s Good!

Posted by | October 29, 2008

Before we get into this I’d just like to say that any slack-jawed moron who seriously uses the phrase “Oblivion with guns” is a filthy cockmongler who needs his priorities re-adjusted with a steel pipe. You can figure out where I stand in the Great Fallout Debate from there.

So now Bethesda’s desecration of the great Fallout lineage is on the shelves and word has filtered down the street. It’s good. Great, even, a shiny syringe filled with poison to kill any productivity you might have been planning in the next week or two. At least, if you bought the console version. And didn’t pre-order.

The pre-order crowd once again has taken a well-deserved ass reaming for being stupid enough to give a company their money well in advance while locking themselves into a single retail outlet as the sole source of their gaming heroin. Why …