Metal Wolf Chaos — Vote for Your American Justice

Posted by | November 4, 2008

On this historic election day, it’s vital to ask yourself the important questions; does your candidate believe in his own justice? Can he, as President of the United States, fight oppression in the streets with a giant battle mecha? Is he partnered with a Vice President who’s more evil than Hitler and Satan’s love child?

These are the questions posed by the Xbox game Metal Wolf Chaos. In this mecha shooter, the Vice President Richard Hawk stages a coup that takes over the United States, locking the nation in martial law and fascist oppression. The only hope to free America is Michael Wilson, the President. Donning a suit of power armor, President Wilson bursts out from the White House to take back the nation, city by city.

Gamewise, Metal Wolf Chaos is a typical mecha game, involving lots of jumping around, shooting bad guys, and zipping about the level on jump-boosters. The graphics are good, the music decent, and a bunch of weapons and secrets keep the game fresh. But what really makes this game a true classic is its unwavering, ridiculous plot and patriotism. It knows exactly what it is, and wastes no chance to throw realism under a bus in favour of a mecha surfing down from orbit on the debris of the space station that’s exploding in the background. Metal Wolf Chaos also features VP Richard Hawk, who is perhaps the jolliest evil mastermind in video game history. Seriously. Kefka thinks this guy should switch to decaf.

See for yourself. Take a look at this montage of Metal Wolf Chaos and discover the flame of true American justice that burns in your heart.

3 Comments so far
  1. RyAnne
    November 5, 2008 2:14 pm

    My goodness. This is even better than the Word of the Day for yesterday being “junta.”
    If they’ll give me a mech if I win the presidency, I think I might want to campaign in the next election. Would you vote for me if I shared the mech from time to time? :D
    This is so horribly cheesy, but awesome. I’ll have to see about renting it.
    Especially since it looks like I get to blow up Vegas.

  2. Helvetica
    November 6, 2008 4:00 pm


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