Nice to see that the almost-7-year-old console is still a workhorse. Kit Dotson at SiliconANGLE has the story.

In this set, we journey through a teapot canyon, and discover how truly vicious Alice can be with that little knife of her’s. We also invade the Mad Hatter’s clockwork fortress, floating as it does among the clouds of the endless void. What is going on in this transformed Wonderland, and who might our real friends be?

Set 2 Part One

Set 2 Part Two

Set 2 Part Three

Care to follow along as Alice works out her personal demons through platform jumping and blood-gushing violence? Check our Let’s Play videos below.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Tonight, I’d like to take a moment of your time to discuss an issue that affects all of us as gamers. A scourge, in truth, a contagious plague that leaps out to strike down the hale and the innocent without regard. As our gaming becomes more social, more interconnected, the disease will only grow greater in scope. Yes, friends, I speak of one thing; console tards.

You’ve met them. Although their kind breeds in the dank pits of Xbox Live, the console tards send forth spores from their subterranean pools of filth to infest and infect all forms of social gaming. You’ve grouped with them in Warcraft, you’ve worn the same colours as they in Team Fortress 2, their touch rimes your headphones and chat channels in ichorous secretions. Console tards are the bane of the online gaming community.

So what is a console tard? It would be easy to lay the moniker on any bad player, but a lack of skill doesn’t necessary mean someone is a console tard. Many players are young, or drunk, or just new at the various games. A console tard is obnoxiously bad, a creature of infinite folly and equally infinite annoyance. Their lives revolve around making you hate yours.

To be fair, a console tard isn’t a griefer. Those foul beasts know what they’re doing, and often spend long hours in study and practice to destroy your enjoyment. Console tards are merely childish, selfish, impatient, uncomprehending, and loud. They also never go away. If someone spends two hours screaming in your ear about starting a new game, that’s a console tard. The Scout in your Team Fortress game who spends the entire round running face-first into a fire extinguisher in the spawn room, a console tard. The Rogue in your raid that insists the boss can’t see through his stealth and runs in to Sap before the pull — for the third time — oh yeah. Console tard.

Worse, the devouring disease that ravages their minds is contagious. Long contact with console tards can transform a normal, promising gamer into one of the shambling horde. Fortunately, there are warning signs. Are you ever overcome by sudden urges to spend an entire match jumping up on, say, a mailbox while your team bleeds out and screams in deathly cries under the enemy guns? Have you ever said the same thing over voice chat six times or more in under a minute? Under ten seconds? In a voice so snotty that a first-grader would gasp at your childish demeanor?

Have you ever spoken in Barrens chat?

A true console tard can never be cured, but the path to that leperous state is not a certain road. If you’re showing signs of the abhorrent transformation, then take these steps toward recovery. You can find a newbie, suffering in his inexperience, and show him the ropes. A console tard never teaches. You can join up with someone, a stranger or a friend, and help them in their quests. Console tards only attach themselves to others as stones around their necks. You can answer honest questions clearly, truthfully. A console tard only speaks in mockery and nonsense.

The sticking mire of console tards ensnares us all. Only vigilance and a constant commitment to be helpful and useful separates us from an endless swamp of detestable incompetence. Help us all. Make the right choice.

In The News…

Champions Online just went to open beta, which means it’s high time for everyone on the planet to jump in line and trash the patch server. Again. If you’re curious about what this new superhero game has to offer over and above the established City of Heroes, now is your chance. If you’re on Fileplanet or got yourself a preorder code, anyhow. The rest of us scrubs will just have to shiver in the dark outside the fence, staring through the knothole of reports and reviews on the forums. Check it out.

Everything has a video game these days, even Swine Flu. Dutch researchers at the Erasmus Medical Center have thrown together a game that sets players to controlling the growing epidemic. In the real world, Swine Flu boasts nearly 180,000 confirmed cases, and almost 1,500 deaths. You can find the game over at thegreatflu.com. Or, you can take a nilhilistic peek at the other side of the coin and destroy the world in Pandemic. I’ll be betting on Pandemic.

Thanks to a slowly sliding gaming market, consoles may be looking at a price drop over the next few months. Of note, Sony is expected to knock $100 off the sticker of the Playstation 3, which will help bring their dark tombstone in line with this generation’s prices. Beyond the console market, the industry as a whole is suffering. You might want to check the stores for bundled deals and price cuts all the way to Christmas. CNN Money has the story.

The Last Word…

That’s all for tonight, thanks again for reading this far. Don’t forget, we’re happy to accept stuff from you, the public, so go and hammer that Contact Us link up at the top of the page.

I don’t have anything strictly gaming-related to close this post with, so instead, enjoy a flame-throwing robot. And remember, save early, save often.

They sucked. All sucked. Sucked hard.

So maybe it’s been a mere twenty years, but now the time draws nigh for us to finally claim what never was; a Ghostbuster’s game that isn’t made of fail and crap.

Here’s the trailer.

So far, the game’s been doing well in reviews. The game-game parts are good, from what we’ve seen, but the CGI animation is a little behind the curve, and the game just isn’t as long as it should be. Still, if you’ve ever played Ghostbusters on the old Nintendo NES system, such pithy little complaints hold no torment.

It’s been two decades. We finally have the tools, we finally have the talent. Let’s bust some ghosts.

Also, coming out around January, Bethesda will unveil Operation: Anchorage, the first downloadable expansion for Xbox and Windows. You can find the entire announcement on Bethesda’s Fallout 3 site.

As always, we here at Vox Ex Machina will keep you informed the most interesting and vile mods that spew forth from the Fallout player community. In case you didn’t notice, we also have a rundown on the current crop of Fallout 3 nude mods and patches. Check it out and spice up your wasteland experience. It should be worth watching to see just what the community does with the powers of this GECK editor. I mean, outside the lesbian pornomachia whorefests that are doubtless gargling up from America’s basements right now.

These are the questions posed by the Xbox game Metal Wolf Chaos. In this mecha shooter, the Vice President Richard Hawk stages a coup that takes over the United States, locking the nation in martial law and fascist oppression. The only hope to free America is Michael Wilson, the President. Donning a suit of power armor, President Wilson bursts out from the White House to take back the nation, city by city.

Gamewise, Metal Wolf Chaos is a typical mecha game, involving lots of jumping around, shooting bad guys, and zipping about the level on jump-boosters. The graphics are good, the music decent, and a bunch of weapons and secrets keep the game fresh. But what really makes this game a true classic is its unwavering, ridiculous plot and patriotism. It knows exactly what it is, and wastes no chance to throw realism under a bus in favour of a mecha surfing down from orbit on the debris of the space station that’s exploding in the background. Metal Wolf Chaos also features VP Richard Hawk, who is perhaps the jolliest evil mastermind in video game history. Seriously. Kefka thinks this guy should switch to decaf.

See for yourself. Take a look at this montage of Metal Wolf Chaos and discover the flame of true American justice that burns in your heart.

For release this month:
Shepherd’s Crossing (PS2) – August 19, 2008
Also known as: Welcome to Sheep Village, Youkoso Hitsuji-Mura (JPN)
Check out a preview of the game. Could be a the start of a “new” farming series here in North America.

Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness (DS) – August 26, 2008
(See our recent post for more info on Harvest Moon releases)

September:
Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility (Wii) – September 16, 2008
(See above for more info on Harvest Moon releases)

Spore (PC, Mac, DS, more) – September 7, 2008
Battle Fantasia (XBox 360) – September 16th, 2008
Lost in Blue: Shipwrecked (Wii) – September 23, 2008
Samba de Amigo (Wii) – September 23, 2008
Disgea (DS) – September 23, 2008
Hamtaro Ham-Ham Challenge (DS) – September 23, 2008

October:
Rune Factory 2: A Fantasy Harvest Moon (DS) – October 16, 2008
Little Big Planet (PS3) – October 21, 2008
Fable II (Xbox 360) – October 21, 2008

November:
Animal Crossing: City Folk (Wii) – November 3, 2008
Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia (DS) – November 10, 2008
Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World (Wii) – November 11, 2008
This sequel takes place two years after Tales of Symphonia (NGC), (PS2).

December:
Persona 4 (PS2) – December 9, 2008
Deadly Creatures (Wii) – December 22, 2008
Play as an armored scorpion or a stealthy tarantula as you battle against other critters. Check it out at Game Trailers.

Look for the latest updates in September!

The MS Xbox 360 continues to outsell the PS3 for the ninth month in a row, but Sony’s apparently not worried. Early in July Sony announced a price drop for the PlayStation 3 and has since seen a 61-percent increase in the number of units sold. Q4 may show stronger sales for all consoles as titles such as Lair (PS3), Halo 3 (Xbox 360) and Super Mario Galaxy (Wii) coming out for the holiday buying season.

More info on the July 2007 NPD retail numbers at IGN.

You want it. Buy it now!