How not to make a teaser trailer: Audere Semper

Posted by | December 24, 2008

We are gigantic fans of adventure games in general. We play them a lot. See The ExperimentThe Longest Journey series, Syberia, Bad Mojo, and more—but this one totally takes the cake on the worst teaser ever.

Words do not describe how terrible and not compelling this video is. If I were going to purchase this game at the store because I liked what it said on the box, this would probably turn me off. What did they make this in? Windows Media Maker?

It starts off too slow, pulsing between text and short-shot flip animation graphics. Then it leaps into these inexplicable falling letters that don’t actually create the title words, they rather fall into darkness, and that’s that. Finally we get the title.

And to top it off. It suddenly switches from these crude panel animation drawings directly to obvious, and uncanny valley, 3D animation of who I expect is the main character. Her mascara is smeared. So sad.

What. The. Fsck?

For those of us who are American voces, though, we may not have to worry about this one anytime soon. It’s only slated release date is listed for Japan.

5 Comments so far
  1. Vex Harrow
    December 24, 2008 7:11 pm

    If I were so inclined, I’d say don’t knock it so soon…

    Although, I must say, she does seem to be stealing a look from yours truly.

  2. Mr. Caterpillar
    December 24, 2008 7:38 pm

    That trailer is underwhelming if that is a word. Visually, it’s no better than the vids I cook up for my YouTube channel with Windows Movie Maker; I mean, they even decided to skip the most showstopping graphics the game could have and show us mostly still images. Unless they actually pulled out all the stops, then that’s sad. Can’t comment on the gameplay, haven’t touched it, but not impressed by the trailer, no.

  3. Ricky
    December 24, 2008 7:45 pm

    THE POINT OF THE GAME IS NOT TO LET YOUR MASCARA RUN…least that’s what I got out of it

  4. Fading Aura
    December 24, 2008 7:56 pm

    It would seem someone took a cue from Gabriel Knight.

  5. Sareya
    December 24, 2008 8:01 pm

    . . .I want my 2:08 back. (Had to watch it twice because the sheer “WTF?!” of it didn’t quite sink in on the first pass.)

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