We are gigantic fans of adventure games in general. We play them a lot. See The ExperimentThe Longest Journey series, Syberia, Bad Mojo, and more—but this one totally takes the cake on the worst teaser ever.

Words do not describe how terrible and not compelling this video is. If I were going to purchase this game at the store because I liked what it said on the box, this would probably turn me off. What did they make this in? Windows Media Maker?

It starts off too slow, pulsing between text and short-shot flip animation graphics. Then it leaps into these inexplicable falling letters that don’t actually create the title words, they rather fall into darkness, and that’s that. Finally we get the title.

And to top it off. It suddenly switches from these crude panel animation drawings directly to obvious, and uncanny valley, 3D animation of who I expect is the main character. Her mascara is smeared. So sad.

What. The. Fsck?

For those of us who are American voces, though, we may not have to worry about this one anytime soon. It’s only slated release date is listed for Japan.