Recently released by Microsoft and Lionhead, Fable 2 is, of course, the sequel to the poorly realized trainwreck that was Fable. In both games, you take on the role of a young adventurer out to make his way in the world. However, the premise here is less about the journey and more the destination as your choices in the game affect what sort of person your fresh-faced and innocent young psychopath becomes.

Fable 2 takes this trick further by giving you more choices, such as the option to be male or female, and then nails you to the game by the base instincts with a lovable pooch who just happens to be part of the user interface. Not only are you given the task of managing morality in NotBritain, but no matter what you do, there will always be your canine companion, smiling up at you with big doggie eyes who just wants to wuv you.

People will kick your dog, and you will murder them for it.

Here’s a quick few hints to get you past some common hurdles in Fable 2.

Celery makes you thin. Slow-time in the Crucible gets added to the clock at the end. Headshots. XP potions are worth more in the Crucible. Females can bulk up like a Rob Liefeld bodybuilding character whose superpower is sucking down steroids. If you’re wearing a murderer’s coat, a bandit’s boots, and carrying a cut-throat’s sword, people are going to make certain judgements about your character and personality, and they will make those judgements while legging it away from you at top speed. Lady Grey is a dead chick, but she’s a hot dead chick. You have to buy the book that teaches the Come Hither expression before you can make out. Real estate pays.